A Public Apology To Dr. Phil And Maya

I still cannot believe I imagined this.

About two months ago I thought I saw a segment on TV about Dr. Phil momentarily losing control and calling a prostitute and saying something along the lines of "Lets just go crazy...lets get some coke and bring some girls over....lets just go crazy." I vividly remember hearing his voice on tape, and I remember them saying he issued his own public apology after getting caught.

Since then I've been telling this story all over the place whenever he comes up in conversation. So basically, I've been spreading completely slanderous and false rumors about an upstanding american citizen. I would like to apologize to you, Dr. Phil, and anyone else I may have hurt in my irresponsible spree. In particular I'd like to also apologize to Maya, who's dad thinks extremely highly of the doctors paradigm shifting book: Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters. I would also like to reccomend: Self Matters: Creating Your Life from the Inside Out, and Love Smart: Find the One You Want--Fix the One You Got. I am so completely relieved that you never had the heart to ever tell him, partly because he wouldn't have needed to be hurt so unnessecarily, and partially because I don't want him coming after me.

I've come to this apology after a long online search for any information relating to this fiasco and having come up completely, utterly, empty handed. I'll admit I am wrong when I am, but I still don't think this is absolute proof of me being wrong. Dr. Phil, I know you are a powerful man, and if this is in fact some kind of cover up I WILL find the truth. Still, until I find supporting evidence I hope you can accept my humble apology.

-DJ

Curtis Mayfield - Nothing On Me(Cocaine Song)

Upsetters - Night Doctor