Origami-Schmorigami, the class

Things heard during my first class teaching origami:

- My nervous heartbeats (I'm sure).

- "These instructions are retarded".
- "I'm sorry but these instructions are totally retarded".
- "Yes, the instructions are retarded."
- "Actually, don't look at the instructions for the crane, they will only confuse you more".
- "No, fucking, way. I'm not doing this" (Dangerous Minds-type student) And then, later: "I'm gonna practice all weekend and then I'm gonna come back and fold the crap out of these papers!". I asked him if he was being sarcastic by any chance, and no, he wasn't. Youtube will help him he said.
-"No that's a valley fold, it's supposed to be a mountain fold, dumbass". (Really cocky student who just learned how to fold something).

All in all, I think I did OK. Everybody learned how to fold something. Two of them went modular, which, heh, is pretty complicated. One girl was a freakin' genius and made up her own flesh-eating plants. A shy heavy metal guy sporting the obligatory thin blond baby-moustasche learned how to fold a pretty pretty flower which he was extremely proud of and couldn't stop looking at for the rest of the class. (If he's anywhere near as smart as he looks, and I think he is, he'll eventually understand what an amazing babe-magnet origami truly is).

Flight of the Concords- Ladies of the World

Origami-Schmorigami

I have some sort of disorder that makes me agree to do things that are actually impossible. I do it all the time, without even blinking. One of my jobs right now, is translating Romanian texts about communism and rivers into Swedish. They're going in a book. Even though I don't actually know how to translate, it never for second crossed my mind to say no. So now I'm looking up architectural terms and...hydro-technical...stuff. It's madness.

I also agreed to teach my students origami, on Wednesdays, these next 5 weeks. I'm making a little booklet of designs from which the kids can choose from, and I have to be able to fold all of them. Because I'm their teacher. The problem is that I suck at origami. Apparently I forgot about that small but important detail, yet again. I don't know what my fucking problem is, it's not the first time it's happened either. Anyways, everyone knows how high schoolers are nuts for TAI fighters and badgers so I decided to learn how to fold those. And I came pretty damn close to loosing my mind for ever. It was so so hard. And the TAI fighter can't even stand up and keeps falling over. So now the little folder will consist of: crane, box, star (maybe) and badger, for the really really advanced students. But I'm hoping no one will pick that one because I finished it in a blind rage and I don't remember anything. The instructions mean nothing to me.

Chet Baker- Chetty's Lullaby

I love love how it totally still sounds like American...Dohlche nohtte....veeveersohtey...cheyroh... Americans trying to sing in other languages than American is my new favorite, very specific, genre. Back in the day, American artists used to sometimes translate their songs to as many languages as possible to win the love and admiration of different little countries. But somewhere along the line they stopped doing this, and now things are just tough all over.

Django Reinhardt- Smoke Rings

I've been listening a lot to Django recently. He's great. This song reminds me of my grandparents. Sunny apartment. Everything moving really slow. It also allows me to reminisce about the time when I used to smoke cigarettes. Those were the days.

Chairmen of the Board- Give me just a little more time

This is my anthem right now. Mostly he chorus, not the super lame verse. "Life's too short to make a mistake, let's think of each other and hesitate, young and impatient we may be, there's no need to act foolishly". Very responsible lyrics indeed. I do need more time though, always.

Tonight We Leave For Oriland

Miracles do happen, birds soar, paper flowers open, we have found out about Oriland. Most of you have never heard of this wonderous kingdom, and now we want to share this information with you. We have it all figured out, we'll catch the origami steam train and then take the origmi hot air balloon over the magic lake. It will take us to the main island. We have already talked to a very helpful orilander named Igor the Goblin Librarian, who is willing to sublet his beach front castle at La Magic, which is just perfect for us. We originally wanted to find something in Foldingburg, but this is obviously way better. He emailed us this nice photo of the view from the master bedroom window. The one below is an outside view of the castle, if you look closely you can see Igor on the right hand side of the photo, wearing glasses.
We've both been accepted to the Oriversity. After we settle in we're hoping to find jobs working in the Museum Of Flora and the Paleontology Museum. They are both near the Ice Cream Cafe, where we think we might spend a lot of time. Igor told us that we will discover that their magic ice cream can only be made in La Magic Kingdom, as it requires special magical ingredients, which only grow in the Garden of Meditation. He also said that we'll have to get a pair of magic carpets to get to and from classes at the Oriversity. So yeah, were looking forwards to that a lot.

We are folded and packed, and we're ready to go. Nothing you say or do will stop us, but if you'll listen to this song maybe you will understand why we had to leave immediatly, and maybe, just maybe you'll join us one day soon.

-Laz and DJ

Yuri Shumakov - Merry Origami