An Interview with CRM

Transmissions From Wintermute’s Grant Miller inspired Interview Series continues this week with Zestfully Clean’s own CRM (a.k.a. Radial Radish). Using a recent plug for his strangely unnerving blog as bait, I was able to score a rare interview with this postmodern cynic and armchair doom sayer. Writing from an internet cafe in Berlin, CRM discusses his love for beef and Franz Kafka, as well as his plans to stab me in the heart with a steak knife.

CRM’s only stipulation in granting me this interview, however, was that I post the hot new single by Denver’s underground MC, Boabeide (bow-bay-da). However, due to technological issues, I am unable, but will instead post Boebeide’s 2nd-to-newest single. And, I’ll go even further and include this wonderful little piece of homoerotic gangsta absurdity by I Be Ill, Boabeide’s original group. And, due to our mutual love for Gene and Dean, and to help flesh out the homoeroticism of this preface, some Ween for good measure. Enjoy!

As always, if anyone out there would like to be interviewed by us, just say so in the comments.
(Thanks to A-Bomba for the picture of Kafka wearing a sweet hat).

Song One - Boabeide

Work That Heat - I Be Ill

The Homo Rainbow - Ween

Who are you and what do you want?

I am Chell and I just want to Dance! Actually, that's not true, I do like to dance, but I want lots of other stuff too. For example, right now, I want to take a shower.

What kind of animal would you most want to kill and eat with your bare hands, and why?

The answer is obviously a cow. I want to raise it too, love it, etc., and then kill it and eat it. It would be hard to kill a cow with my bare hands, so I would have to rely on the trust that I'd have built between us, and then go for the throat unexpectedly.

If your brain were put into a robotic body of your own design, what would be your main robot power? (Optional follow up, what would be your favorite robot food?)

Robots don't eat asshole. But to answer your question: upgrade-able parts. I'm actually pretty sure this is going to happen, I've given it a lot of thought, and it is pretty much the only explanation for the fact I'll never die (unless, of course, I commit robot suicide).
[Robots DO eat jerk - ED]

Do you like being an American?
You know I do, it's just other Americans I don't like being.

It's your birthday and you have a magical dinner party, to which you can invite 3 nonfictional people, living or dead. The catch; at the end of the night you have to stab one of them in the heart with a steak knife. Who are your choices. Please elaborate.

OK, first off it's not magical, it's also not my birthday, rather it is just a dinner party like any other, and I'd invite you, Bao Bei Da, and probably Kafka just for shits. I would not kill Kafka (he probably won't really be there when this happens).

Rather morbid questions, readers will think I'm violent. I'm not. I do like cow, and I am going to kill either you or Bao Bei Da at a dinner party sometime. If you put any music with this post, put Bao Bei Da's 'tragically hip' (it's new).