Monday, February 05, 2007

The Toes are Webbed

To make this perfectly clear, I thought I'd use this picture of my foot with the webbed toes right next to this giant foot, with non-webbed toes, belonging to my friend Elias.

I didn't know much about webbed toes, and I didn't really care much about it. I mean, obviously I thought it was awesome when I was a kid because I thought it made me a fantastic swimmer. Jumped right into the deep end of the pool without being able to swim, completely relying on the power of my toes.
It wasn't until a few years ago, when me and my friends sat by the water down town, that I was first called a mutant freak.

On the internet, this birth defect, Syndactyly, is sometimes referred to as a mutation, yes. Which is cool, because the Teen Age Mutant Ninja ( or "Hero" as they were called in Sweden, because "Ninja" is just so violent) Turtles are cool. Once I found some page with a big discussion about whether the webbed toes were actually the next step in evolution. Which totally makes sense, just think of what happened in Water World. THINK ABOUT IT. The best web page I've found on about this rare and interesting condition has to be World Wide Webbed Toes though. Wow, that was a complete shock to me, because there were like 587 comments on his post about webbed toes. I just sat there for hours reading about people who felt awful about their toes, successful and unsuccessful toe-surgery, one girl used draw a line with a marker on her web to mask it (aww). But of course also, super proud mutants with web-piercings and webbed-toe-fetishist lovers, who refer to normal toes as "non-webbed". Oh right I guess I did that too haha. But yeah, everything is relative. Because when you think about it, everybody else's toes look weird as hell and only your own look normal.

I was going to post some really good music to go with the webbed toes, but ezarchive seems to be acting up again. If anyone of my fellow blogmates would find it in their hearts to see what's up with that, I would appreciate it immensely.


Anonymous EZArchive Customer Support said...

Hi Laz,
EZArchive has been incredibly stable since upgrading to our 3.0 version in November. Please be sure that you've switched over to the new 3.0 media player links for your files and then the really good webbed toe music should play great for everyone!
Just let us know if you have any questions!
All the best,
EZArchive Customer Support

February 06, 2007 5:56 AM  
Blogger ohmygodimmike said...

ONly one webbed toe Laz!? you're not even a proper mutant.

February 06, 2007 8:38 PM  
Blogger Laz said...

You can't have just ONE webbed toe, there's TWO toes, and they're, you know webbed, together. I have it on my other foot too, but not as much. So...that makes 4 webbed toes OH!!

February 06, 2007 11:17 PM  
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February 08, 2007 6:14 AM  
Anonymous Elias said...

Now THAT'S a foot (right one) of magnitude folks! It must belong to a great man, a wizard, a genius or even some sort of god... lucky you "Laz" who got to be that close to him!!! :-)

February 09, 2007 12:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Laz nice toes cutie! I was born with the same two webbed toes and just like yourself my left ones were maybe a tad bit higher then yours and yea my right toes were also not nearly as much but still evident.. I think it's cool now but growing up I HATED it and was sO ashamed by it! I didn't hate my toes so much, it was just the fact of how I believed people would perceive it. The first time I showed anyone is when I was naive to the fact that I was totally different then my peers. I figured all kids had webbed toes like mine lol! So at 4yrs old in pre-school I was runnin around barefoot and was playing with these two little girls I had crush's on and once they saw my toes they totally started laughing and rolling a around and before I knew it the whole class was staring and laughing at my toes! haha lol! Not cool ya know! lol Then of course I hid under the table in class for the next two weeks. lol! Plus being an only child with neither parent having webbed toes or knowing any relatives with webbed toes, let alone anyone at all I just figured from then on something was seriously wrong with me. I never wanted to experience that again! In fact the next time anyone ever found out was 13 years later by my girlfriend I had dated for years without her ever knowing. Well while watching movies one night I crashed out and she figured she'd take my sox off to help me relax. As you can imagine she was totally shocked when she saw my toes. lol! I woke up right after and saw her inspecting them and staring is disbelief! Truthfully I don't know who was more shocked! Plus to make matters worse she's a gorgeous model to this day and came from an extremely wealthy family whom all seemed to be very superficial. She couldn't understand how I had not cut it. Yes, she offered to help me cut it herself by icing it numb.. CRRRAZY huh? She got totally pissed off at me for not telling her for all that time and drilled me on whether or not anyone else knew! She was so embarressed by it! That killed me even tho I've always been totally confident and popular. She stormed out and drove home peeling out. lol! Yes, she later apologized but she finally pressured me into seperating my toes. They skin grafted the left side and just snipped the right ones a little bit or so they say. After reading sites like Geek Ramblings and the site you mentioned made me feel awful for having it done. I honestly like my webbed toes but I just figured it would be a total turn off to women I met. I didn't want to be known as the dude with webbed toes lol! That was at 17 and I'm 32 now. Yes, it looks as if I was born with normal toes and no ones ever even asked about them if they happened to notice the faint scar between. Well, after surgery I really had something to prove so within a years time I won Mr. Teen Arizona and the Mens overall division making me Mr. Arizona. A week later I flew out to California and competed in another bodybuilding competition and won that overall as well. A year after I won the Teen USA Nationals. So for all those girls who I dated before surgery who laughed about webbed toes, well,I guess the jokes on them cuz this webbed toe guy kicked some ass hahaha I just always felt totally inadequate because of my webbed toes so I felt I had to prove it myself and others that I could be the best in a sport judged on your physique head to toe. Anyways I totally admire you for keeping them that way, that's to freakin cool! I'd love to meet a woman with webbed toes one of these days, I think it's totally cool to have something like that in common. So yea, I just had to write ya, and give ya props** for being so open about it. That's tight! I wish I would of had the confidence to compete with webbed toes but atleast it did motivate me to go out and do all the thinhgs like hanging out the pool parties and waterparks, things I totally missed out on as a kid. Sad huh!?! I'm still not used to my toes being seperated and maybe it's like when someone loses a limb and the feel like it's still there, well I have hantom webbs now ! HAHAHAHA Go figure! And to tell you the truth I'd like to have them put back together, maybe not all the way but atleast half way or so up but I'd probably get committed to an institution if I asked them to web my toes. lolol! I apologize for the long text but you seem pretty cool and I can totally relate! Oh hey does anyone ever ask if they hurt? hahaha! Keep those sexy webbed toes! Evidently I wasn't the only like that hahaha.. If ya ever want to chat my email is ztaliano@yahoo. Take care, awesome pic! You have nice feet, I've seen some webbed toe pics recently that are extremely unattractive, so right on cutie, I think it's awesome! You have a great attitude! M&M

August 03, 2007 11:04 AM  
Blogger Armani said...

Ok, someone I know ran across this post and notified me. "I" am the actual owner of this email posted above which was written by "Anonymous". Clearly an attempt to somehow slander, embarrass, or belittle me by going as far to post my public accomplishments on the world wide web. After receiving countless emails asking about webbed toes (I thought it was spam) I finally responded and found out it was this site they originated from. Due to the false nature of this post written by Anonymous two people who have contacted me based their decisions to have corrective surgery as a result of this post. This is truly ashame because such a minor indifference should be embraced, not shunned. As entertaining as this post was I would greatly appreciate it if the moderator would please remove this post by "Anonymous August 3rd2007 11:04am" to prevent any further damage. Thank you.

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You can't have just ONE webbed toe, there's TWO toes, and they're, you know webbed, together. I have it on my other foot too, but not as much. So...that makes 4 webbed toes OH!!

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