Striptease for the Noise-boys

Last night me and my two friends went to this dance show at Danses Hus ( the House of Dance, duh) here in Stockholm to see this show called Nightshade where stiptease, contemporary dance and performance art would meet.
The only thing I heard about it before going was something about stippers doing modern dance, and my reaction was for some reason "Yay Strippers!!!!". So, yeah, that's why I decided to go, and also because I didn't quite know what to think of the whole concept.

Well, the show was something like 7 different striptease numbers, all coreographed by different people. On stage was also a quartet called the Emanon Ensamble, who accompanied these numbers. Quite a few of the performances were basically women stripping to crazy avant-garde noise. (Old people kept leaving). Pretty artsy I guess, because sometimes their bodies would contort in ways not often seen in regular striptease.

I just couldn't help thinking that this was the perfect show for all the Noise Boys out there, finally some kick ass stripping to good music. It was super funny. I thought about how they should put up posters for this in all the little obscure record stores in the city. The Noise Boys would come, provided their girlfriends would let them.

Right when I was getting bored with seeing naked women, writhing on the floor and what not , they threw in a male stripper too. Yeah, just for the hell of it, it seemed because why was there just one? He did this annoying mime-strip in his tighty whities in front of a TV with just a male face watching him. Then he did the backwards, hey, I’m taking my clothes ON all sexy, instead of OFF-thing. Wow. He did end up naked, and he he had no pubes. I had never actually seen that before, so that was new. He kind of looked like a newly born, fully grown stripper guy. And yet again, it was confirmed that male strippers don't do much for us at all.

The problem with this show, is that it didn't make a distinct point. What did they want with this stripping vs. "real art"? There where questions, but no answers, and when you build an entire show around this topic, you need to make some kind of stand. I mean sure, it’s an intresting discussion, what makes naked performance –artists and actors Art, and inventive strippers not Art? The answer is, like in so many cases of course the context. So was this Art now? Ok sure, why the hell not, but just being art doesn’t automatically make it good.

For Ever And Ever And Ever And Ever And Ever

I had a super duper funny idea this year for my Halloween costume. I decided I'd be a frat boy, ha ha ha h ah a. Yeah! everyone would get it except I was a little scared an actual Frat Boy would kick my ass. Ha Ha Ha. guess what? ........... EVERYONE, everyone everyone hates frat boys. Let me just take you aside for a second. Let me say that I am in no way ever a frat boy, thats why I thought it would be funny. Of course, its a hilarious idea, people will laugh well all be together on it in our mutual hatred of the stupid ass Fratness of it all. Guess what? its not cool to be a frat boy. Surprized? No? Yes? No?

I will tell you, I have never ever felt as much hatred in my life as I did this fateful night. I wrote a song in my head called Sympathy For The Frat Boy tonight. It was straight from the heart.

I had no idea how hard it is, people yelling "What up frat boy!" "Hows it going fratty!" wow. thats all I have to say. W-O-W.

You know, I thought it might be an intresting social commentary, but it turns out it was the singular most epiphanetic experiment I could have ever have taken. EVERYONE, everyone everyone hates frat boys. I have never ever in my entire life, even when I thought I had seen the worst of it all, ever experienced as much hate as I did the night I decided it would be funny to be a frat boy for Halloween. I might as well be making out with another guy in front of a bunch of texans.

All in all, I would like to say, the world is infinetly more complex than I had ever thought it could be. For ever and ever, and ever and ever. Amen. Thoughts?

Behind Blue Eyes - The Who

Sleepy Science

Whenever I try to write about a current movie for this site, I always procrastinate and then post something a couple weeks after the movie is in theaters. That pretty much renders the review even more obsolete than it already is by virtue of only existing in some small-known corner of the uselessly vast intra-net. However, I think there is one guy from England who reads this blog regularly. I don’t know if he reads my movie shit, but regardless, this 2 week late review of The Science of Sleep is for him/her. Rue Britannia!

First off, if you are even considering seeing Michel Gondry (the French guy who did Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and all those baddass music videos like the one where The White Stripes are legos)’s new flick, do it. Go now. On the big screen this film is absolutely stunning visually, and it will lose a shitload when reduced to a TV screen. It’s fantastical stop-motion special effects and exquisitely detailed surreal sets continue this artistic return to analogue culture which seems to be happening throughout the suffocatingly technical western world. Such analog concerns can be witnessed from the interest in hand processing and found footage in the experimental film circuit to the trendy necessity of selling junky LPs in every used cd shop. But I don’t think there are any high profile filmmakers out there now who indulge in this anti-digital hand crafted world as sincerely or effectively as Gondry (Terry Gilliam maybe? - although he incorporates CGI work into all his films, but with a masterful and subtle balance). What comes through more than anything else in this film is Gondry’s childlike love of the magical effects of cinema, the sublime moments of illusion created by in-camera optical trickery (rather than slick computerized post-production). In this, I think he draws a lot from Jean Cocteau, the French master who pretty much set the standard for Romantic magic in film. By using photographic effects (like frame by frame animation, super impositions, and shooting his crazy mobile sets live) instead of CGI animation, Gondry’s impossible images become tangible, which gives them a psychological weight and power that, in my opinion, is impossible with slick and hollow computer animation. The power of movies comes from their photographic illusion of motion, the fact that they have, for the last 111 years, continued to fool our brains. All special effects which extend from this photographic process will necessarily have a stronger power over our brains and eyes than those conjured from insubstantial computer code. I think this is proven by the continual power of films like Cocteau’s Blood of a Poet, which although it utilizes photographic effects established long ago, still looks wonderfully real because it shows us an impossible world build from concrete elements, unlike the weightless digital effects of most shit now.

Although the fantastic vision of the film is enough to justify the 8 bucks for a ticket, the rest of it is good too. The acting is great, especially Gail Garcia Bernal who as far as I know has yet to do a bad job and who’s rapidly becoming the darling of the international indie film world (once Almodovar uses you in a movie, you’re fucking legit). And he’s not hard on the eyes either. The film also has a fluid structure which mirrors the dreamy imagery and serves as a nice meeting point for fantasy and reality to overlap. When talking about a weird French movie about dreams, it’s hard not to compare it to flicks by Luis Bunuel or David Lynch, especially Bunuel’s Belle De Jour which attempts to bring dream and reality closer and closer together until they are ambiguously united in the final shot (it’s also his worst movie, fuck that movie). However, since Gondry doesn’t approach dream movies from the more analytic or heavy-handed intents as Lynch or the early surrealists did, it has a sweetness and subtly too it that really makes it something special. Rather than trying to deconstruct the subconscious or show its dark side, it merely revels (sometimes painfully) in the beauty, power and freedom of dreaming and in resisting the strict notions of reality imposed on children by the up tight adult social world. Definitely a movie worth checking out.

Here are a couple of great surreal songs that I think do a good job of merging the normal world with the dream one.

The Pickup Bear - Deerhoof

Deerhoof is one big fucking dreamy freakout. They are hard to define but awesome to listen to. Apparently their guitarist quit to further his own band, The Curtains, who I know nothing about. Too bad. But the remaining members are still spazing out and pushing the limits of pop. This is off The Man, The King, The Girl, which I think is one of their best albums (second only to Reveille).

Octopus - Syd Barrett

What can you say about Syd. Nothing, because anything you could say would insult his genius. The world is a fundamentally shittier place without him.

Songs from the brink of insanity

Have you ever wondered what kind of music crazy people listen to? Well, I am now in a postion to tell you about that, because I'm right there on the edge. I'm doing this art project about Romania (often mistaken for the "asshole of the world", when it is actually "the best country in the world". RO-MA-NI-A!!!!YE-AH!!). So yeah, I'm romanian, so it's about time I make some romanian art. The Vlad vs. Dracula drawings are part of that too, and I promise to continue their conversation in a future post (not a "Future Post u4t03897t3", there will no more of those on my part. Well, maybe in the Future ho-ho-ho).

So, ok one day I heard on the radio, that Ceausescu owned 9000 suits. This is because he was afraid of germs and poison. Of course this blew my mind, even though it's not very surprising news. They also recently confirmed that he did in fact have a private subway built under his giant palace ( 2nd biggest building in the world after the Pentagon), which he built on the place where my family's house used to stand before they tore that whole neighbourhood down. I started thinking about what 9 000 suits actually means, and what that even looks like, so I decided to start printing them, 5 at a time. In these pictures you can see 5 400 suits, so I'm a little more than half way done. It's physically and mentally hard work, because of the monotony. Why did that fucker have to have soooo many suits. Geez. Sooo many suits. So. Many. Suits.
This brings me to my almost( ALMOST) going crazy. What breaks the monotony is listening to my iPod. God bless you iPod. And these are my printing-9000-suits-favorites. Enjoy.

Amr Diab-05

Sorry about not having name for this song. My friend Aida is quite the iPod anarchist and sometimes only labels artists Arab 1, 2, 3 and so on. It's ok though because she's an Egyptian Mystery.

The Blow- True Affection

Such a beautiful song.

Asha Bhosle-Dum Maro Dum

Ohmygodimmike, you probably already have this, it's really great.

The Sisters Love- Try it you'll like it

Dave van Ronk-Hang Me, oh Hang Me

For obvious reasons. Bye now.

Songs For The Mushroom Cloud

Midterm elections are coming up here in the U.S. of A., and I think like many Americans I am completely disgusted with my options. I look forward to the Democrats wining back the house, (and hopefully the senate), and then bumbling around, paying a bunch of lip service to progressive change with their mouths full of greasy chicken wings, and accomplishing next to nothing. I really really want all this Democrat rhetoric of change and ‘a new direction for America’ to be true, because our current administration is a criminal front, plain and simple, allowing immoral mass-murderers like Rumsfeld and Cheney unlimited power to make blood money hand over fist. Until they are gone, and their corrupt soul crushing and Constitution shredding political machine is dismantled, no effective change for this country is possible. I love how the G.O.P. has postured themselves over the last 6 years as the party of security and liberty, spreading the gift of democracy over the heathen middle eastern sands with tanks and uranium tipped bunker busters, when the whole world is more enslaved and endangered than ever before because of these sociopathic mass murderers' wildly irresponsible actions. We have never needed new leadership (in this country, and in the world) more than now. But I just know the mushy, disorganized and impotent Deomcrats will waste any power they get. Their platform is absoluty better than that of the dreadful G.O.P. and they are certainly the better party to elect, but like all politicians they are self-interested and decadent opportunistic fat fucks who in no way have our best interests in mind. The Bush crime administration has dismantled so many of our Constitutional safeguards and skull fucked our political system so far back to the good old days of unchecked tyranny that we need serious and benevolent leadership just to get back to our mediocre past, and I don't know if that's possible. Also, where the fuck were the Dems 5 years ago when the Bush Administration started trampling our civil rights and economically and morally gutting out nation? After sitting quietly through, and even supporting this ridiculous and destructive neo-con agenda, after allowing their constituents to be harassed and violated, and the international reputation of this country to be completely sullied, now they want to stand up for us? Fucking likely.

After this rant, I am still going to vote almost exclusively Democrat and give them the benefit of the doubt, but I just know they are going to fuck it up. Our two-party system is inherently anemic and unhealthy, and at worst hopefully a worthlessly inactive Democrat congress following an unspeakably corrupt Republican one will underscore the need for more political parties and better representation. However, I watched the debate over one of the hotly contested open house seats (here in colorado), and they included the Green Party and American Constitution Party (not to be confused with the Consitution Party) candidates as well. And they were all totally worthless. Too bad most third parties are so fucking insane. So the problem may not be 2 parties (although, a 2 party system is completely inept and must be changed), but humanity in general. We are too stupid to lead each other, although we are really good at killing each other in glorious mushroom cloud fashion. I have never felt a deeper loss of faith, or more hopeless than I do with American and world leadership right now because we are seriously being lead by a bunch of fucking maniacs.

Ohmygodimmike, I know politics and U.S. culture is your thang and I’m sorry for stepping into your turf. My bad. Cardinals suck.
Here are some cathartic songs dedicated to the inevitable mushroom cloud.

Hairspray Suppository - The Locust

The Locust are awesome live. This is a live track from a 1999 show. This kind of abrasive pop I think is the sole posession of a generation who had lost faith in moral leadership and humanity before they were even born, and that’s why it resonates so beautifully. Sort of an updated "no future" ethic, if you will.

Bin Laden - Immortal Technique feat. Mos Deaf

I must once again defer to the genius of OMGIMike, who I have to thank for turning me on to this excellent rapper. I tried to go to his show in Boulder last year, but it sold out a day in advance, which is probably a good sign. Except that’s he’s going to perform for a bunch of rich complacent white kids who, being the supposed future of America, will probably change nothing for the better because of our generation’s crippling cyncism and decadent escapism (which I am definatly just as guilty of). Mos Def is awesome too, but everyone already knows that.

No, not that Jubilee

Crap. I just lost my post when I visited the Jubilee Christian Center homepage. I wont link it because it'll destroy your computer and possibly your mind. All I remember was a south american guy with his arm around some little asian kid. The post was about a movie I saw called Jubilee. It was an ok movie, about artsy punk kids in a not so far away future where England along with the rest of the western world had regressed into a chaotic anarchist state in the not so far away future (maybe 1988). One of the main characters was played by Toyah Willcox, Robert Fripp's eventual wife, and despite some homo-erotic comments I may have made in the past about how much I love Robert Fripp, I'm totally happy for them. I hope they stay married forever and have like, a million babies. She had a kick ass song in the movie called "Nine to Five" which she sung in a band called The Maneaters. I found a 45" of it for sale online for $22 american, so if you want to hear it either buy that or the soundtrack to the movie. I do however have a really good song by Mrs. Fripp whos name is actually still Willcox because punks don't submit to gender opressive traditions like changing your last name. It's off of a compilation Laz gave me for Channukah or my birthday or something, called The Indie Scene 1981. It's also on the Ultimate '80s DJ Dance Mix Disc 15, of which I have all 40 discs (theyre all incredible). As you can tell by listening to it, she's was only a punk for probably a year or two, or maybe just the amount of time it took to film the movie. Chicks.

Toyah Willcox - I Want To Be Free

I do have two of the songs that are on the actual soundtrack, both by my man, Adam Ant. Just kidding, I don't actually even know his work because every time I hear it my brain goes into hibernation mode and I'm comforted by images Kurt Cobain eye gouging various '80s music icons. Still, I guess it was easy to do no wrong in the months after punk hit. His two contributions billed as Adam and the Ants are pretty exceptional, especially Plastic Surgery, a sort of rev up build up of punk energy climaxing in Adam licking the glass of the tv as his image appears on Top Of The Pops.

Adam and The Ants - Plastic Surgery

The other song shows that Adam like Toyah, quickly lost his punk edge as he already starts to go poppy new-wavey even during the course of the movie. Still I think its well written, catchy and all around well done.

Adam and The Ants - Deutscher Girls

This is a picture from my cousins photography exibition. She likes to take pictures of flowers and stuff. I'm assuming that they're her flowers in which case I am assuming that she likes to garden as well. She's pretty good at both of them. Check out more of her photos at her Flickr page. Everyone should also check out her amazing circle pics in addition to her flower pics. You can also see pictures of my beautiful extended family that is blessed with amazing genes. This is the Jewish side of my family. All though we are not orthodox Jews like the family I watched on Trading Spouses tonight, I will honor my heritage by posting a song showing the great celebratory fun at jewish weddings.

Solomon & Socalled - Freylekhs Far De Kale

The beautiful Solomon plays violin and her husband Socalled does the beats. This genre is considered Jewish hip-hop but I chose a track without the yiddish rap. Buy the cd Hiphopkhasene to further explore the world of Jewish hip-hop. A few tracks on this cd feature the amazing David Krakauer on clarinet. I strongly recommend checking out one of his cd's, especially with his original version of Gasn Nign that will tingle you're klezmatic brainwaves which are in desperate need of attention. I guess us Jews do have soul.

Blockhead - Roll Out the Red Carpet

This track is from the goyim hip-hip sensation's album Downtown Science. I love the atmosphere he sets with his eirie samples and is able to provide a proper climax for a complete song that so many electronic musicians lack. He is a not so well-known part of the well-known ninjatune label whose big names include Coldcut, Amon Tobin, Roots Manuva, Herbalizer etc. Another less reknowned artist on the label and one of my favorites is luke vibert. But for newbes to the genre I suggest one of the many ninjatune compilation discs of which nearly all are solid.

Screamin' Cyn Cyn and the Pons - Track six

We may have allready posted this song in the early childhood of this blog. However, now that our blog is globally popular I feel the best band in Madison (and the world) must be reposted. Not only is Screaming Cyn Cyn and the pons astonishingly hilarious, but they're also accomplished and technically great musicians whose philosophical lyrics bring Kafkaesque visions and auras. Everyone in the world must visit their Official website and visit Madison WI. and attend every single one of their incredible, high energy upcoming shows. Or they will die.

I hate the St. Louis Cardinals. Mazur I am sorry that my Mets couldn't beat you're ex-girlfriends favorite team. I know that would have given you the last laugh. It was obviouly Scott Spezio's stupid red goatee that made the Cardinals win and not skill in baseball. Now the question will be can Scott spezio's red goatee beat the super-powered afro of Magglio ordonez in the World Series. After the NLCS celebration, Ordonez's Champagne soaked afro looked no different than when dry. The power of the jerry curl type haircut will undoubtedly be tested against the intense red goatee. The below picture of the injured Met's pitcher Pedro Martinez in his old jerry curl is the obvius reason why the Met's were unable to win the series against the Cardinals. Not only does Martinez no longer have a jerry curl, but he is also the Met's best pitcher and is injured for a really long time.

Future Post &)_#gGGG

I am holding in my hand right now, and am looking at, an actual, factual, physical ipod. I can even feel the drives gently whirring away on occasion through the nano-fiber of my skingrafts. It was my grandfathers that he bought in 2017 when ipods were getting unwieldly small. Back then small unwieldly things were a fashion statement. I had to fix it up a little, because it's lithium ion batteries(!) had long ago worn themselves out and the feeble hard drive had puttered its poor self out its last playlist.

I went to my grandfathers reanimation ceremony on Jantus Alpha for the weekend and although its not that big of a deal, he felt very grateful that I was the only one of my generation to attend. Dressed like Milla Jovovich in the beginning of The 5th Element, he put his fresh new arm around me and took me aside. He said, because he knew I was into kitch, and that he was really very grateful that I showed up, that he wanted me to have his ipod.

Sizewise the ipod is stuck right between usefulness and transdermal implantation. Historically it must have been an era when the miniturization process had not reached a level where it could be used invisibly and connected to neural circuits, but still was at an advanced microprocessing stage. The manufacturers still had to show off the limits of how far it could be shrunk to, and as a result the thing is next to impossible to use.

But enough about the outside. What I found inside is a whole other story. All this recent hype about Semi-Innovational Rock Band 3 is completely put into perspective browsing through my grandfathers database. Now, I know people try and be retro all the time and like you I listen to my share of 20th/21st century music, but what we lack is the historical perpective. We can listen to Semi-Innovational Rock Band 3, or 4 or 5, or check out Experimentalism-Electonic Stream of Consciousness Generator and look at the artistic references and influence sound clips embedded in the booklet, but its a totally dry experience. Playing with this now archaic device you begin to understand the technological restrictions people had. I know my grandfather never liked half these bands, but back then you had to actually listen to something to know if youd really like it. So here im left to explore artists that he liked, and ones he didn't. Some he'd found because corporate engines had piloted them into his ipod, and others made their way in on an offbeat title or by an idea that plays out better in theory than in sound.

For you entertainment, I have taken all the tracks with the letters, A, K, I, R and A again, these I siphoned through a sound animator and abridged them into this single three minute, nine second track. Enjoy,

Kaneda - Geinoh Yamashirogumi

Allen, You'll always be #1 a.o.k

Are you tired of homosexuals being treated like humans. Isn't it time that they get treated like what they are: animals destined for an eternity of hellish flames. Should we feel pity for such hoplessly lost souls. Not according to Desecration Digest. I like this website because any good christian knows Jesus would have wanted a Christian Militia.

Today was a bad day for me. Today I found out that my most favoritist American poet and guru zen master was a member of NAMBLA. Now everytime I read Ginsberg I have to think of a hairy old man groping a young hairless adolecent. Allen Ginsberg....Allen Ginsberg? a pedaphile?

Allen Ginberg? the most innocent of the beat writers. What the hell did William Burroughs do to you? What did Walt Whitman do to you?. Why do the most brilliant minds have to be the most fucked up minds? It's probably cuz he's a buddhist. Or maybe it's because he was the biggest sell-out of the beat generation. How I wish Allen would have found me before his death. It's just know that I realize Allen wasn't out of my league. My unconditional respect for you will go on without repent Allen. I will never abandon my new hopes for 9 year olds to have the right to consent. Who am I to say it's wrong. I am no one to the great Allen Ginsberg, I shall shield my eyes to the great light of Allen's superior morality.

Allen Ginsberg-Sunflower Sutra

Here is a track of the master himself reciting his poem

Saul Williams-Robeson

Saul Williams is my prophetic link to the master. Since I met Saul Williams and Saul Williams met Allen Ginsberg before he died who taught Saul the power of chanting "ohm"

The Departed was okay.

Earlier this week I saw Scorsese’s new movie, The Departed. I’m a big Scorsese fan, but for some reason I felt no real desire to see his last 2 films. I didn’t not want to, I just didn’t care enough to get my lazy ass to a theater, and at the video store there’s always something better to rent that doesn’t star Leonardo Dicaprio (even at an ass-palace like Blockbuster). But the good reviews and wishes of my friends lured me to the cineplex for the new one. Anyway, it was good, a superbly shot and constructed crime thriller that weaves together the psychologies of a network of emotionally ambiguous killers (some cops, some robbers). Scorsese shows us a culture of violence and destructive masculinity where both sides of the law posses no moral high ground. In this universe, moral distinctions break down and agents of both sides become interchangeable. It was a smart and interesting film, which in its almost 3 hour running time only starts to drag slightly in the final act. But it defiantly wasn’t great. It was missing the pioneering energy that made earlier Scorsese films so risky and explosive. In his 90’s crime masterpieces like Goodfellas and Casino (his last really great film), his style had become more polished and crisp but the films’ retained the rebellious passion and power of watershed flicks like Taxi Driver and Mean Streets, creating the kind of balance between chaos and order that only a great director can achieve. The Departed certainly had a supreme and confident craftsmanship with it’s slick and engrossing yet maturely understated camera work and editing, but it felt empty. It was a very well told story that was interesting, but not exciting. While it teased at addressing deeper cultural issues and delving into character psychology, it never did, instead only exploring these possibilities in the most superficial ways. But my main problem with it was the acting. It has a cast overstuffed with big name actors who all turn in mediocre performances. Instead of getting into the characters, I felt like I was watching a bunch of rich Hollywood pretty boys in expensive jeans having fun with racial slurs and prop guns. You’re brutally aware the entire film that you’re watching Jack Nicholson and Marky Mark and all the others being “tough,” so you watch them ham it up instead of dissecting the complex lawmen and villains they’re portraying. It’s extremely distracting, and totally annoying. Anyway, the movie’s worth seeing, but not by much.

On the plus side, it does have a return to the poetic use of rock n’ roll that helped define Scorsese’s early style. This interest for Scorsese in the possibilities of rock music to create a kind of emotional immediacy and urban surrealism was taken from 1960’s American experimental filmmaker Kenneth Anger, especially from films like Scorpio Rising and Invocation of my Demon Brother (which has an avant-garde Moog score by Mick Jagger). It’s nice to see him returning to that, but again it seemed forced, instead of rawly transcendental like the soundtracks for Mean Streets or Goodfellas. This poetic use of rock n’ roll as a more pure or emotionally authentic gateway to experiencing the world, or as a sneering (or campy) rejection of past world-views, was a common device in 1960s and 70s Youth Cinemas, as in the films of John Waters, Wim Wenders, and Jean-Luc Godard. But of course, in our cripplingly cynical postmodern society any real faith in pop music seems to be dead, and usually when a movie has a musical interlude now it’s to help sell the shitty-shitty single by some shitty-shitty band. Too bad. In honor of the past days of primal rock n’ roll magic (which are of course only false romantic notions in my young mind), here are some pop songs I have faith in, or as much faith as I am generationally capable of.

Ain’t Nothin’ Shakin’ (But The Leaves on the Tree) - The Beatles

This is a grimy live Beatles song from 1962. It’s off an album called Live at the Star Club, which I bought off some kid in middle school. I found out later that day that he had stolen it out of the Spanish teacher’s boom box, but I kept it anyway. And then after high school he got arrested.

Letter From and Occupant - The New Pornographers

This band kicks ass. They have an old school roughness and immediacy, but also sound distinctly of this century, despite their many sonic quotations. This song is off their first album Mass Romantic.

Wear your Love

Last night my friend Lotten had a Good bye-party since she's leaving for Colombia on Tuesday. This girl is the most amazing hostess ever, because, the second your glass is empty, a new big rom and coke appears before you. Yes, and so she got me very drunk. Not quite as an eagle, but as any slightly smaller majestic bird. At the party they were playing that Donovan song, Wear your Love like Heaven, and I recognized it from that one Simpsons episode when Homer is stoned and gets ready for work. And drives of into a sky full of pink clouds. I played it several times, which I'm sure was very appreciated by the other guests. Later on we ended up at a bar called Ugglan ( the Owl, maybe I was drunk as an owl? Actually that doesn't work, because they're pretty quiet and calm, and I definitely wasn't). The drummer from the Concretes was DJ:ing and guess what song she played. You will never guess. Wear your Love like Heaven!!!!!! I thought this was a miracle and a sign from god last night and proceeded to only talk about how awesome this song was with everybody. When I got home I called DJ who was not drunk, and told him too. I think I was yelling alot. I dreamt about it all night, and downloaded it in the morning. It's a pretty good song.

Donovan - Wear you Love like Heaven

The street is full of punks. They got spikes.

I went to the opening of the Denver Art Museum’s new Frederic C. Hamilton Building over the weekend. It’s this crazy new titanium plated boat-triangle shaped thing designed by this guy Libeskind, who’s doing the new Freedom Tower in Manhattan (which will soon be the tallest building in the world only because it has a giant pole sticking out of the top of it. That’s totally cheap). The new building looks pretty baddass, especially when walking around inside of it. It’s suppose to be one of the stranger buildings in America now, but according to my art history professor last year, that architectural style was already out of fashion before construction even began, so it was fucked from the get go. What the hell? This country has a short attention span. Since when is a building made out of Titanium spikes old news? I say, more spikes! It’s funny because they finished MMoCA last April, the art museum inside Madison’s newly built Overture Center, and it too has a big defining spike.

I guess spikes are the way for former cow towns to prove that they’re real cities now. That’s cool, because in my opinion what this country needs is more art museums and more big jagged spikes. Anyway, the new modern art collection housed inside the Hamilton building was really impressive I thought, and it adds a lot to the museum because avant-garde stuff was always their weak point. But that’s all Laz’s territory. I’m sure spiked-shaped buildings went out of style like a decade ago in Sweden. Us provincial Americans, endlessly amused with pointy things...

In honor of this strange and shiny new addition to the American landscape, here are a couple of beautiful pop songs.

Fortunately Gone - The Breeders

My Little Underground - The Jesus & Mary Chain

I am a man of the world

I have recently been awarded the oppurtunity to marry a smokin' hot sebian girl so she can become an American citizen. If the price is right I may do it. I'm seriously considering it, however it is quite a commitment. Will it completely dominate my life or will I be able to not tell prospective girlfriends about it right away. I would imagine most girls would not want to date a guy who is married to some foriegn girl so she can get her green card. Apparently I have to be married to her for 2 1/2-3 years before we can get a divorce. I don't have to live with her and immigration would only question me about her once about a year into the supposed relationship, after that I would be clear until the divorce. I'm guessing by the end We'll hate eachother's guts, but you never know, maybe we'll fall in love. Oh wait, I forgot, my life isn't actually a movie. Anyways, I don't actually know that much about the procedure so anyone with any knowledge about these types of affairs are welcome to comment. I probably have to know more than just her favorite color. Her name alone is probably going to have to take some studying to memorize.

I have never seen a Bollywood movie before. One of my friends recently told me that they're just like an Indian version of "The Sound of Music." I told him this may be true except for the fact that the music doesn't suck. I hated The Sound of Music more than words can describe and he is very close minded when it comes to non rock music so naturally an arguement ensued. I am posting an mp3 plus the video from a song in the Bollywood movie Dil Se that is far and away better than any song in the sound of music. I don't remember the actress in the sound of music being so beautiful. So if my friend is reading this, you have no idea what you're talking about you xenophobic piece of shit.

Jiya Jale-from Dil Se

Thank You B. Streuthker

Dr. Phil: My first guest tonight is a man who has some impulse-control problems.

Raskolnikov: What do you want? When will you leave off tormenting me?

Dr. Phil: Hold it right there. Seems to me you need an attitude adjustment.

(Raskolnikov turns abruptly and stares at the wall.)

Dr. Phil: Says here you murdered an old lady for her money. You murdered her, and then you murdered her sister. What were you thinking?

Raskolnikov: (Making a violent effort to understand what it all means) I murdered myself, not them! It was the Devil that killed them. Enough, enough! I killed a noxious insect of no use to anyone, so what is the object of these senseless sufferings?

Dr. Phil: You need to get a grip on yourself, and you need to take some responsibility and make healthier choices.

(Applause from studio audience.)

Raskolnikov: (Breathing heavily, his upper lip twitching.) My choice was to be a great man dedicated to improving the lot of humanity. The vast mass of mankind is mere material, and only exists in order by some mysterious process to bring into the world at last one man out of a thousand with a spark of independence.

Dr. Phil: Let's talk about the independence thing, since you brought it up. You're still receiving money from your mother, isn't that right? And you have a college degree but no job? And recently you've embarked on a life of crime?

Raskolnikov: The extraordinary man has the right to find in his own conscience a sanction for murder, if it is essential to the practical fulfillment of his idea. Our rulers destroy men by millions themselves and look on it as a virtue. They are knaves and scoundrels.

Dr. Phil: Ho ho, well I'm not an expert on politics, but don't you think you have enough problems of your own to keep us busy here? I understand you're in love with a prostitute?

Raskolnikov: Sonia is a woman of the utmost purity whom I love with a Christ-like intensity that drives me to torment and humiliate her.

Dr. Phil: Be honest with me now. Don't you think she'd prefer a relationship in which two healthy people come together because they complement each other on an equal footing of respect and love?

(Applause from studio audience.)

Raskolnikov: (Grinds his teeth.) A dull animal rage boils within me.

...

(Amazon.com Review for Crime & Punishment)

Vlad Ţepeş vs. Dracula

To be continued....

Chili Fest, Beer Fest, Film Fest

I’ve gone to several festivals recently, but I don’t know why. I never used to go to festivals even though there’s always lots of random shit happening in the Denver Metro area and, despite how much shit I give this town, even Boulder has its fair share of random public screenings, concerts, and largish film festivals. However, it doesn’t have a chili fest. We had to drive 15 minutes out of town for that one. We then consumed many dixie cups of chili and 2 dollar beers. I also met a congressman (he was a dick), and I got into a fight with 3 twelve year olds. It wasn’t just me, a couple of my friends were involved, but I’m proud to say I started it (and I fucking ended it). Punk little shits. But the best part was the performance by “Colorado’s Premiere Beatles Tribute Band!” who did not look or sound like the Beatles, despite their Sgt. Pepper outfits and stupid mustaches. Plus they were all old. However, after several more $2 Fat Tires, they sounded exactly like the Beatles, and I was cheering at the top of my lungs like a British school girl. Chili Fest gets a thumbs up.

Then last weekend was the Great American Beer Fest, the biggest in the U.S. I drank mead, spilled beer all over my shoulder trying to put on a promotional eye patch, and sang most of Bohemian Rhapsody with Radial Relish on the bus ride home, until the popular mood turned against us. The GABF gets a thumbs up too.

After that was Boulder’s own Toofy Film Fest, which wasn't great, but it definatly had its moments (like Mr. Malikai Battles the Aeroplane and American Storage). Most of the stuff was pretty entertaining, but the fest overall highlighted a trend that’s been really pissing me off, the use of digital projection at screenings. Almost every public screening and festival I’ve been to in the last few years projects off DV CAM tapes, or DVD. That’s totally fine, because since most young and independent/experimental filmmakers can’t afford to make prints of their films, and a whole generation now shoots on affordable digital video, festivals that project digitally make it possible for many starving artists to get their movies shown. But in this environment where people are asserting an inevitable death of celluloid, and hailing digital production and projection as this new and technically superior medium, then why does every digital screening I got to look like shit - no hard lines, blurry motion, washed out color, poppy sound? A mushy interlaced mess. I’m not going to go into all the photographic and material reasons why, to me, the celluloid image looks more rich and detailed than digital’s, but if DV is the new festival standard, then use or make available some pro-sumer projectors that live up to all the hype or stop sucking your own dicks, shut the fuck up and project some fucking films. Sure, the digital image can be absolutly beautiful, is capable of rich and sophisticated visuals and has democratized distribution, but what’s the point if it looks like ass when you project it?

What’s even more annoying than the awful quality of most smaller screenings these days despite all the big talk, is that all these new artists who shoot only on DV call themselves “filmmakers” and all these festivals that show primarily (or solely) digital videos call themselves “film” fests. I really have nothing against digital video, I think it’s a completely valid and capable artistic medium that should be explored, respected, and exhibited. But it’s not film. That isn’t a judgment call, its an objective fact. Projected films have a different physical and sensual quality than their younger cousin, and will always remain artistically independent. Video, like film, has its own technically bound aesthetic, its own visual qualities and form which it must embrace and exploit. Since such artists and enthusiasts are always so loudly declaring the beauty and legitimacy of video over celluloid, then why do they always falsely refer to their medium as film? Are they ashamed of their art form? I doubt it. It seems more due to this attack on the part of videomakers to replace film by making works technically “as good as film”, to appropriate its title and standing and thereby legitimize itself. That’s bullshit, apples can’t become “as good” as oranges. Painting didn’t become obsolete after photography, or the radio after TV, because each medium has its own unique aesthetic properties which people still valued for their own sake. Instead of fighting this constant and impossible battle of trying to imitate in all respects an inherently separate medium, videomakers should embrace their form and title and establish their own distinct vocabulary and style. If you say film is dead, than show us something new, instead of chasing a supposed corpse.

My Art - Le Tigre

Le Tigre embraced video art back in the 90’s, making it an integral part in all their kick ass live shows, especially before 80’s video art pioneer Sadie Benning quit the band. This song is after that, but it’s about art, and stupid arguments over art, so I thought it was fitting after my pointless rant.
And here’s their awesome video for Deceptacon off their first album, a great work of video that would just suck on film.